|
|
101
A large amount of what follows is based on my personal experiences and opinions. Remember, where gay dating is concerned one size does not fit all and it is often more important to listen to your own thoughts and feelings than consult a 'rule book'. Having said that, there are most certainly some common-sense do's and don'ts and more general guidance that everyone would do well to bear in mind.
Trust
Probably the single most important factor in any relationship is trust. Complete trust between two people is a rare and wonderful thing and a sure sign of a lasting, happy partnership. A crucial part of the dating process is to learn to trust your partner and make them able to trust you. Even very simple things like turning up on time and doing what you have agreed to do are important in building trust early on in a relationship. Openness and honestly are the best foundations, so keep it real from the start. Don't lie about your age, career or past relationships and don't even think about using false or very out-of-date photos to lure guys to your profile.
And remember, good relationships go both ways and so your partner should earn your trust just as you must earn his. Try not to rush into a position where you could put yourself at risk, either emotionally, financially or physically, until you are quite sure he's the real deal. Trust is something you must both earn and cannot rush.
Meet
There is no doubt that online personals are a fantastic way to meet new guys. Where else can you so easily learn a little about literally thousands of guys who you know are actually interested in hooking-up? Many sites also offer chat and messaging facilities so once you have spotted a guy you are interested in you can make the initial approach and size each other up from the comfort of your keyboard. In fact with today's technologies, like web cams, you can take the relationship quite a long way before you ever actually meet. But, I would suggest, this can often be a mistake. The anonymous nature of the internet is perfect for removing any awkwardness from the initial contact and exchanging basic stats, but it is no substitute for a real-life meeting. You can invest a whole lot of time and emotional energy in an internet relationship only to discover, when you eventually do meet, that in the real world you are not at all compatible. So, unless a virtual relationship is all you are looking for, always be in a hurry to meet. If the other person wants to chat online for weeks on end first perhaps they aren't serious about ever meeting or, even worse, perhaps they aren't everything they have been telling you.
AND when you do meet for the fist time, make sure it's in a public place, like a bar or restaurant. Yes, I know you are a big boy and you can look after yourself - but following this rule IS looking after yourself.
Advertise
When you create your personal ad keep it punchy and try to convey the sort of person you are, rather than just list all the things you do with your time. Obviously a few basics are useful but, this isn't a CV! Another common mistake is to try and impress everyone with how many exciting activities you cram into your life. You may well swim with sharks at the weekends if it's too windy for hang-gliding, but not as many people as you think have any wish to do the same. Guys will be reading your profile to find out about YOU. They would be at another website if they wanted to read about extreme sports.
Humour is very important in making a profile less dry, but don't go over-the-top. If your profile makes you seem like a crazy off-the-wall kind of guy then you better be a crazy off-the-wall kind of guy. Otherwise it's rather dishonest and pointless. Just be yourself and you shouldn't have to agonize over the wording.
Also I strongly recommend you include a recent photo with your ad. Maybe you aren't as proud of your looks as you'd like to be, but it's far better to save everyone's time and put your best face first. Very many guys simply don't view ads if they don't have a photo and your response rate WILL be better if you include a photo even if YOU think it will scare people off! The quality of the photo also matters. Make sure it's not too small and that you are actually visible, not covered up by a huge hat, ski goggles or building etc. Some guys choose to put photos of parts of their bodies other than their faces on their profiles. Well, it's up to you of course, but I believe that signals you are more interested in sex than a lasting relationship - and if that's the case then feel free (but check site policy).
Be Nice
Finally, my top tip for successful dating. In fact it's my all time top tip for life in general - so listen up! The way people treat you is directly affected by how you treat other people, so being nice is good for you. Being generally considerate and pleasant to other people is very attractive and not just to the direct recipient of your niceness. You never know who is making a mental note that you are 'a nice guy'. This rule should be followed online as well, so be respectful in online conversations and never put other people down.
The real power of this rule is that your positive energy will be reflected back by people you meet day-to-day and you will eventually convince one other person that you really are a nice guy. That person is YOU. When you truly believe in your own niceness you will be more confident and comfortable with yourself and that is just about the most attractive quality any person can possess.
Act
OK, this really is finally. I'm not getting any younger, how about you? No? Then click here to return to the homepage to search existing members or create your own profile. It's free and now is good. Good luck!